The Sturdiest Foundation You Can Build

Issue 45 - Read Time: 2 minutes 42 seconds

The sturdiest foundation you can build is one of self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance is rooted in Truth — and Truth is the only thing that ultimately endures.

If your sense of self is built on falsehood, it doesn’t matter how impressive it looks from the outside. The foundation is cracked. It won't hold under pressure.

For years, I couldn’t see how much shame I was carrying.

I had been raised in a high-demand religious culture, and stepping outside its expectations filled me with immense mental and emotional stress.

At the time, I didn’t know how much pain I was in. I just knew I felt anxious, disconnected, and numb.

I tried to outrun that pain — hiding in a haze of weed smoke, video games, and compulsive pornography use.

On the surface, I thought I was accepting myself. I had accepted my behaviors. I had accepted how I showed up in the world.

But I had not accepted what all of it had done to me on the inside.

Not only had I not accepted it, I was completely unaware of the depth of the pain because I would not allow myself to go there.

That’s the critical difference.

True self-acceptance isn’t just tolerating your choices.

It’s standing face-to-face with the reality of your inner world — your grief, your fear, your longing — and offering yourself compassion there.

It wasn’t until I met my future wife and shared a glimpse of my shame and disconnection that the first cracks appeared in my false foundation.

It wasn’t a full unveiling — it was just a beginning. But it was enough to set me on the path.

That was almost six years ago.

Since then, layer after layer has continued to peel away.

Every year, every moment, there are deeper truths to confront.

This work is never truly finished — but the more honest I become, the lighter the burden feels.

If you’re ready to begin your own inquiry, start here:

Ask yourself — not what you did or have done that you feel ashamed of — but instead:

What did those choices make you feel?

Be brutally, unflinchingly honest. Let it all be there. No polishing. No minimizing.

Then ask:

What does this feeling version of me most need?

What is the pain actually asking for?

And finally:

Start talking about it.

Find a therapist, a trusted friend, a partner — someone who can hold your story without judgment. Start giving voice to the pain you’ve carried alone.

This is how you begin to find the truth of self-acceptance.

Not by fixing yourself — but by finally seeing yourself, and staying.

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

If you missed my previous announcement regarding Attunement Collective here is your invite!

I recently decided to give away as much of my knowledge and coaching as possible for free. So I created this online community.

Inside you will find long-form content, community forums, self-guided resources and longer courses (that I used to sell for $1000) all for free!

This week we had an incredible interview with practitioner and researcher Miriam Kaiyo. She told us about the research she has done at the University of Utah regarding psychedelic medicine facilitation.

We had a wide ranging conversation covering everything from psychedelic medicine, to integration, somatic therapy, therapeutic cannabis use, dissociation, and more. It was super informative and I encourage you to check it out!

Join below!

ATTUNEMENT COLLECTIVE

Thank you!

I love that you are interested in exploring yourself in the pursuit of growth and expansion. 

And I love that you are diving deeper into the unconscious patterns that limit our capacity as a species to transcend this paradigm. 

You are becoming the change you want to see in the world and that is incredibly inspiring!

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey ✨✨

With Love,

Christian

Raise your consciousness - change the world.

Exploring the human condition — breaking down the blockages that limit our capacity to give and receive love.