The Illusion of Security

Issue 35 - Read Time: 3 minutes 55 seconds

The Illusion of Security: Why Chasing Safety Keeps You Stuck

I used to think security meant having a plan. A retirement account. A safety net.

But then I met people who had all of that—yet still felt anxious, restless, and deeply unsafe in their own bodies.

We’re told that security is something we build for the future. That if we just work hard enough, save enough, prepare enough, then one day we’ll finally feel safe.

But what if that day never comes?

The Paradox of Security

Imagine two men.

One has a million dollars in his bank account but wakes up every day with a racing heart, tight chest, and a creeping sense that it’s never enough.

The other doesn’t know exactly what his future holds, but he moves through life with ease, trust, and an unshakable sense of inner stability.

Which one is truly secure?

Because security isn’t just a financial plan—it’s a nervous system state.

It’s the ability to feel calm, steady, present, and open to love right now.

Yet, we’ve been conditioned to believe security is something we sacrifice today for tomorrow. We trade our present well-being for the idea of stability years down the road.

And here’s the paradox—many people finally reach that future security and still don’t feel safe.

Because security isn’t built through external structures alone. It’s cultivated within the body.

If your nervous system is in a constant state of stress, no amount of money in the bank will make you feel truly secure.

The Cost of Chasing “Future Security”

I’ve worked with clients who have millions in assets yet struggle to sleep at night. They live in chronic stress, overanalyzing every decision, unable to relax, even when they’ve “made it.”

Their bodies are wired for survival.

Meanwhile, I’ve met people with far less who walk through the world with a sense of deep ease and trust.

The difference?

One group built their idea of security externally. The other learned to cultivate it inside themselves.

The nervous system doesn’t care about your financial plan. It only knows what you’re signaling to it right now.

• If you’re constantly in high-stress survival mode, your body learns that life is unsafe—no matter how much money you have.

• If you’re always chasing “one more thing” before you can relax, your nervous system adapts to never letting you relax.

• If you suppress joy and ease now in the name of future safety, you train yourself to never allow joy and ease at all.

This is why monks renounce possessions.

They understand that material things can’t give them what only presence can.

No amount of external accumulation will bring peace to an unregulated nervous system.

How to Build True Security (Right Now, Not Later)

I’m not saying financial planning is wrong.

Not worrying about your future is a viable path to peace. We all want to have our needs met and create stability for ourselves and the people we love.

But security isn’t something to chase. It’s something to cultivate.

So instead of postponing peace for an idea of safety that may never come, ask yourself:

✔ What if security was something I built inside myself—not something I waited for?

✔ How can I regulate my nervous system so I feel safe now, not just later?

✔ Where in my life am I delaying joy, presence, or ease because I believe I haven’t “earned” it yet?

Here are three simple ways to start cultivating real security today:

1️⃣ Regulate Your Nervous System Daily

Security is a felt state, not an intellectual one.

Try breathwork, grounding, or slow movement to retrain your body to feel safe in the present.

Example: A 5-minute breath practice where you inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, and exhale for 8. This sends a signal to your nervous system: "I am safe."

2️⃣ Stop Deferring Peace

Ask yourself: What am I waiting for before I allow myself to relax?

If your brain always tells you “I’ll slow down once I hit this goal”—call that out. It’s a loop that never ends.

Start with small moments of joy and ease daily.

3️⃣ Challenge Your Idea of Success & Security

Have you ever reached a goal and still felt empty?

What if you redefined success as not just what you accumulate—but how deeply you can be at peace with what you have?

A Challenge for You

This week, notice where your body tightens when you think about security.

Ask yourself: Am I chasing something that’s actually available to me right now?

Because security isn’t something you wait for.

It’s something you build, breath by breath, moment by moment.

Need More Support?

If you feel like you want some extra support here are some ways Attunement and I can help you:

1. Individual therapy or coaching with a provider at our clinic (in-person or virtual)

2. How to Feel Your Feelings 12-week course (online offering)

3. May 1-5 Attuned Being Desert Intensive (In-person - San Rafael Swell - Central Utah)

Thank you!

I love that you are interested in exploring yourself in the pursuit of growth and expansion. 

And I love that you are diving deeper into the unconscious patterns that limit our capacity as a species to transcend this paradigm. 

You are becoming the change you want to see in the world and that is incredibly inspiring!

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey ✨✨

With Love,

Christian

Raise your consciousness - change the world.

Exploring the human condition — breaking down the blockages that limit our capacity to give and receive love.