Asking the Right Questions

Weekly insights to turn pain, trauma, and the human experience into opportunities for growth, purpose, and meaning

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Issue 13 // Read Time: 4 Minutes 20 Seconds (Nice!)

Asking Questions is a Creative Act

Last year, I read Rick Rubin's book called The Creative Act. It was. a fantastic book and really helped me solidify my perspective on art, creativity, and my responsibility as a storytelling animal. 

One of the most powerful insights I got from the book was a deeper understanding that creation begins with a question. 

I often lose sight of this and don't offer enough reverence for the act of questioning. 

I want to dive into that today and explain some of the ways questioning leads to creation. 

Today, you will get:

Why formulating the "right" question matters

How questioning opens us

Creating a practice of curiosity

The Mythic Necessity of the Right Question

Albert Einstein said,

"If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question. For once I knew the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes."

I wonder if Einstein is speaking solely as a scientist here or if he also knew the mythic significance of the right question; something tells me he did, as he was part scientist, part mystic, part philosopher.

Einstein's statement draws directly from myth and reminds us of the necessity of understanding the human story on a deeper level.

Marie Louis Von-Franz was one of Jung's Proteges and a prominent analyst and author in the 20th century. Her specialty was symbolism in myth.

She tells us,

"Deliverance, as the result of the right kind of question, is a universal motif."

She also says,

"In Jungian terms, it is an archetypal motif. In fairytales it is usual for the hero who wishes to acquire the treasure to have to fulfill one or more special conditions on the correct execution of which the result depends. One such condition is the question."

She is telling us that to progress through the journey, we must find the right question to ask. And by asking that question, the world opens up and deepens the journey.

Think of your favorite stories and the times the hero has to ask the question to get through to the next phase of the journey. 

 Harry Potter asks about his parents and learns that his mother's love shielded him from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's curse. This question leads to new insight, determination, and wisdom for the rest of his journey.

In the Matrix, Neo is required to ask many questions to progress his understanding of the world and his role as the chosen one. Each question and answer leads him deeper into the journey.

Questions Add Richness to Relationships With Others

Now, let's talk about the effect of questions in relationships.

The right question in relationships with others generates intimacy, openness, wonder, and discovery.

A great question is the prerequisite for a real conversation.

When we are asked specific questions, we come alive. We are brought to the edges of our understanding and must confront the unknown.

Through this confrontation, we are creating new life and understanding. We are expanding our perceptions and widening the landscape of our known universe.

We are invited into vulnerability, and that is precisely the place where we connect, experience intimacy, and grow.

Without questioning, we stay stagnant. Our internal landscape does not expand, and we don't venture further into our personal universe.

A Practice of Internal Curiosity

Think for a moment about the way you talk to yourself. 

Do you relate to yourself with curiosity and compassion?

Do you question, earnestly question, yourself with kindness and an open-minded attitude? 

Think about all the times you tell yourself, "I should be doing x or y." And behind that "should" is a sense of judgment.

Imagine you changed that dialogue, and instead of saying, "I should spend more time journaling." It sounded more like this:

 "I know journaling could be good for me, but I can't seem to get started. I wonder what part of me is afraid to start this practice?"

OR

"I can't seem to start this practice. Is there a part of me that benefits from me NOT doing this? Is there a part of me that enjoys this stagnation?

OR

"What would have to change for me to start journaling? Do I need more time? Do I need accountability? Do I need more direction?"

Each one of these questions opens up an entirely new conversation. 

A "should" statement is a dead end. It leads nowhere, and there is no more room for curiosity. 

We are stuck. And remember the mythic significance I talked about at the start of this newsletter - Finding the RIGHT question is integral for moving through the journey. 

If you are in that dead end, you won't find the right question leading toward liberation. 

Another helpful way to practice this is by externalizing your inner dialogue. 

Imagine you were talking to another person the way you talk to yourself. Would that dialogue lead to discovery, exploration, and new frontiers?

Or would it quickly shut down because you were judging and diminishing the other person?

Making the Unconscious Conscious 

People often ask me, "What is the point of therapy?"

I answer, "To make the unconscious conscious."

But I want to expand that and say that is not the point of therapy. This is one of the primary points of living.

If you  find the courage, curiosity, and compassion to question yourself, then you will unearth the autonomous forces ruling your life through your unconscious.

You will interrupt the program, and you will feel connected to your Soul and your purpose.

And that requires a practice of questioning and curiosity. 

So see if you can make this a practice. It WILL change your life.

Thank You!

I love that you are interested in exploring yourself in the pursuit of growth and expansion. 

And I love that you are diving deeper into the unconscious patterns that limit our capacity as a species to transcend this paradigm. 

You are becoming the change you want to see in the world and that is incredibly inspiring!

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey ✨✨

With Love,

Christian