🍄🌀 The Attunement Newsletter 🌀🍄

Raise your consciousness - change the world.

Exploring the human condition — breaking down the blockages that limit our capacity to give and receive love.

Issue 29 - Read Time: 5 Minutes 19 Seconds

A Simple Process For Behavior Change

I love my job more than most things. It fuels me. It lights me up. And I LOVE connecting with people and understanding their stories. But there is one aspect of my job that irks me. And that is how difficult it can be to integrate insight into actual behavior change.

Insight is wonderful. A change process usually starts with insight but this is only the beginning. If insight doesn’t convert to action and behavioral change, then very little will change in a person’s lived experience.

So today, I want to talk about a simple formula I use to convert insight into change. I do this all the time, and it has greatly improved my life.

Today we will cover:

1. The power of 1 new insight.

2. A formula to convert insights to lasting change.

3. The importance of repetition

The Power of 1 New Insight

I read a lot of books. I love to learn, and I am curious about all things related to consciousness, psychology, and spiritual growth.

Because I read so much, it can be difficult to keep track of all the new information going into my brain. Last year, I was feeling particularly guilty about not retaining “enough” of what I was reading. I was being hard on myself when I had a profound realization.

I realized that if I read a 500-page book and I only remembered 1-3 ideas from that book BUT I integrated those ideas into my life and they became part of my worldview, and influenced how I live then it was quite literally a life-changing book.

And how could I ask for anything more from a book that I enjoyed? It's not realistic to remember the whole thing, and quite frankly, it's not necessary.

One idea, if lived, is enough.

So I have taken this idea and applied it to my my therapeutic process, psychedelic integration, and learning in general.

It has removed tons of pressure to remember everything, and it has made the process of integration and change easier for me and my clients.

The Process

I want to reiterate this applies to all learning. It might be after a big insight in a therapy process; it might be after a psychedelic journey or other transformative experience, it could be after reading a book or hearing a podcast, or any time you have a massive insight and want to translate that into a change in your life.

First things first, you have to identify the insight. I do this by sitting down and writing out my top 1-3 insights from the experience.

For example, say you recently went on a retreat, and one of the biggest takeaways for you was that you tend to manage your emotional experience through your partner.

You recognize that when you feel anxious, instead of addressing that anxiety inside of yourself, you get into your partner's physical and psychic space and compel them to be or act differently so you don’t have to feel anxious.

So, the insight is, “I tend to manage my anxiety through my partner.”

Now, the next step is to tap into your mind’s eye and visualize, in as much detail as possible, what it would look like if you were to change this pattern.

Staying with this example you might visualize the following:

“I am keenly aware of when I feel anxious. I know exactly how it shows up in my body, and I can recognize those sensations before they overtake me and influence my behavior.

Each time I notice those sensations, I pause long enough to use a coping skill like deep breaths, physical movement, or journaling to help regulate my nervous system. I can calm myself quickly.

I no longer take this anxiety into my relationship and I recognize the moments when the old compulsion to get in my partner’s space arises. I consciously acknowledge that impulse and communicate that openly to my partner.

I practice asking for what I need in those moments, and I continue to take accountability for my internal state instead of projecting it onto my partner.”

Now, we have a clear picture of what our lives could look like if this insight was integrated.

The next step is to get very specific about the 1-3 behaviors that we can implement to get us closer to the visualized reality.

From the example above we could pull out these behaviors:

1. Practice attuning to the sensational experience of anxiety. Keep a notebook or a digital note on my phone and track each time I feel anxious and where I feel that in my body.

2. Practice deep breaths every time I notice the anxious sensations in my body.

3. Tell my partner each time I feel anxious around them and ask for what I need to help calm down.

Now that you have specific behaviors to get you closer to that visualized reality, you start implementing them NOW. Each time you do, you take one more step toward a new and improved life.

Here’s a recap of these steps.

1. Identify 1-3 insights.

2. Visualize your life as if you had already integrated those insights in as much detail as possible.

3. Pick 1-3 behaviors you can start doing that align and move you toward that visualized reality.

4. Rinse and repeat.

The Importance of Repetition

Here is the truth about behavior change - repetition is everything.

Changing the way you show up in the world is no different than going to the gym and getting into shape or building more muscle. It takes reps, and it takes consistency.

For some reason, we think that is different when it comes to our mental/emotional health and behavioral patterns, but it is not.

If you are not ready to keep these new behaviors top of mind, then you won’t rewrite the years and years of patterning that created negative behaviors to begin with.

But if you are ready, and you can keep it top of mind, then you can make dramatic shifts in your life in a matter of months.

And here is a little bonus tip.

When you meet resistance on your path toward these changes it is worth asking yourself the following questions:

1. What part(s) of me might be afraid of me changing?

2. What do those part(s) believe will happen if I abandon the behaviors that got me this far?

3. What do these part(s) need from me to feel safe and support me in this change?

These questions are helpful because they acknowledge the adaptive function that ALL behaviors serve. When parts of us believe these adaptations are still necessary, we are met with all kinds of internal psychic resistance.

And we have to trust that. We can’t just bulldoze through that. We need to meet those resistances with curiosity and compassion.

Those questions will help you do so!

Need More Support?

If you feel like you want some extra support here are some ways Attunement and I can help you:

1. Individual therapy or coaching with a provider at our clinic (In-Person or Virtual Offering)

2. How to Feel Your Feelings Course and Community (Virtual Offering)

Thank you!

I love that you are interested in exploring yourself in the pursuit of growth and expansion. 

And I love that you are diving deeper into the unconscious patterns that limit our capacity as a species to transcend this paradigm. 

You are becoming the change you want to see in the world and that is incredibly inspiring!

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey ✨✨

With Love,

Christian